Sunday, March 27, 2011

Bitches.

I know it's been awhile since I've been here, but I'd like to take a moment to talk about bitches. They're fucking everywhere. I used to think that (and this was admittedly misguided) that once you grew up and had kids, you stopped the high school type bitchness. Untrue! Once you become a mom you're exposed to a whole new world; one that is absolutely riddled with mom bitchness.

The new level of frustration you reach as a mom is unlike anything you've ever experienced. I wholly understand the need to let that shit go. Take a bubble bath, go shopping, smoke a cig, get a sitter and go to the bar, eat some ice cream, punch a pillow, kick the dog (juuust kidding). Some bitches, oh some bitches, are unprovoked, self-hating, high school mentality, grade a bitches.

Let me explain.

I take my son to Gymboree. For those of you who don't know what that is, Gymboree is two things. It's a clothing store for kids, and a gym where they have play, music, and art classes for babies and toddlers. It's ridiculously overpriced (my mom guilt made me do it). It is also full of bitches. I'm a young mom, (no shit, huh?) 24 to be exact. I look 20, maybe 21. My son is nearly 3. In 30 something snobby bitch mom minds, I was a teen mom. Something to be despised in the Gymboree mom crew. Oh, and I have a tattoo that's visible when I wear certain types of shirts. Not only did these women whisper (very loudly) about how young I look and how disappointing it is when teenagers have babies and become the debacle that Teen Mom is, but then approached me (in a pack) and began firing criticisms and questions. When I revealed my age, a collective sigh of relief escaped the group. One said "Oh, thank God, I thought you were only 18."  I was trying to rise above, I really, really was. It wasn't until one of them started talking about a study she read in which children born to younger moms don't develop as quickly as others and have I noticed anything like that with my son as he seemed to have a little trouble climbing up that one thing and WHAM! I drop kicked the bitch. Ok, I didn't. But I did tell her about a study that I read about in which children who have judgmental bitches for mothers tend to grow up and be judgmental bitches and also I noticed that little Keegan (what a stupid name) pushed down a black boy so perhaps he has racist tendencies or is exploring his homosexual feelings. Shrug.

5 comments:

  1. ^bro... lmao, I work at a baby store and the 30 year old mom bitches are everywhere! they want it all but don't know what they want!

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  2. Bitches should not be allowed to reproduce, hehe

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  3. Keegan LOL what a terrible name, that kid will be picked on for years to come.

    Sadly it seems to be human nature that people (women in this case) get bitchier as they age rather than mellow as they age.

    Go for you for standing up for yourself though

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  4. You should have drop kicked that bitch! HAHA

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